Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
