Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
