MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You've changed since you got that strap on
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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