I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hippo gnu deer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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