every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
