dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize