butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
