OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
