yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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