So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
