It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
