Please, let me fuck your mom
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
