lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
