Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
