2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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