My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
