You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
