the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
