Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Randomize
