you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
