just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
