I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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