So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize