well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just high enough for therapy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
