Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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