What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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