He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
