I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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