I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
