Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
