She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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