Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
