In the future we'll all be gay
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
