He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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