I CAN MOONWALK!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
