I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize