would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
