We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
