it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
