porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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