she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
