I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
