At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
