He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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