sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
