Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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