I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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