i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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