I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
