masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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