I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
