It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
