you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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