I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
