i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
