This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
