$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
