so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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