does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
