turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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